From rampant debauchary to strict asceticism... with some debauchery

well finished with thousand cranes. it's really short. picked up alot of new things, i read alot differently the beginning of junior year. i was so wrapped up in the metaphor of the struggle of japanese before, i completely missed the characterization and extreme constant sexual tension. luckily, i picked up on all of that this time around

next i'm already almost all the way through siddartha. followed by balzac and the little chinese seamstress. i don't remember these asian books very well, especially the ones just chock full of sex. there's a couple other books i still need to reread, but these were the only ones i had on hand.

don't know what to say about siddartha really. it's the herman hesse version, so it's a realistic view of how to achieve enlightenment. i was a bit confused the first time i read it because the protagonist is very originally named siddartha, same as the buddah. hell, his son is even named siddartha, so who the actual Buddha was always a bit confusing.

i used to go along with this "life is beautiful when lived at the minimum" shit, but then i discovered nietzsche epicuris and henonism, and all the better.

In My Defense...

so this is late. there's no other way to say it. but here's why: dostoevsky sucks. and with the ap test coming up, rather then struggle through some long book with little plot, i've decided to reread books that i quite enjoyed but don't quite remember everything in it, so that i can use it on the test. so this is late because i decided to give up on notes from the underground and instead read "Thousand Cranes" by Yasunari Kawabata. if you don't know this man, it's a shame because he's one of the only prominent oriental writers in the west, and all his books are about sexual deviation. this book is about some kids fucking his dad's mistress while his dad's other mistress tries to get him to fuck her and some other girl. however below this very japanese storyline (all japanese stories are about sex and gay sex and tentecle sex) is a extended metaphor about the lose of japanese heritage following WWII. it's kinda sad, and although i'm very pro-progress-super-liberal-who-cares-about-traditioins, even i can't help feeling disgusted at how america raped japan of it's cultural heritage, and not in the way it would have wanted it either.

i remember most of the metaphor, just little details and names mostly that i needed to remember. besides that it's a great book and i in no way mind reading it again.

Dostoevsky- the search for a plot!

i feel like sulu's saying "you're such a little bitch, aren't you dostoevsky. ohh my!"-new computer, only reaction picture i have so far

I haven't read through to much of Notes from the Underground yet, (I have to do this post a day early because I'll be enjoying my friday night), but from all i can tell so far, this is just the inner monologues of Holden Caulfield from J. D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, mixed with all the goth whiney "loners" who think that the shun society, not the other way around. So basically Holden Caulfield nowadays.

He takes great pride in the fact that he hates everyone especially himself, but thinks that all other are below him for not hating themselves. going through my own teenage angst stage, i always recognize these people, particularly in high school, and laugh at their own self importance and wait for them to grow up and realize nobody gives a fuck about them, and they shouldn't give one about themselves.

i'm still trying to find some plot line. i'm beginning to doubt whether there is one, or if this is just 100 pages of him whining about shit. oh well, he's a classic, so i guess i'll read it.

I spent all day writing Muzak. at least it's the arts.

I know this is a little late, but it's Milton. He's slow. Sue me.

Or if you're God (which you sometimes act like it) you could damn me and cast me out of paradise, which he seems to be rather fond of doing. I don't know how many video games you've played, but there's this game mechanic that keeps reappearing. you start the game with all the power ups and for the first 10 minutes of the game, you're Superman! you can do whatever the hell you want! but then the final boss shows up and strips you of all you're powers and you spend the entire game trying to reclaim these power ups and make it back to the final boss, begrudgingly but with a sense of importance. God keeps pulling this shit, saying "look at how wonderful paradise is, but oh ho ho, you get to toil all your life! and you probably wont even make it back here!" There's a reason these kinds of video games don't become very popular.

For medieval history class, i also recently watched the movie Agora, about the conversion of the Roman Empire to Catholicism. I have to say, for all the "turn the other cheek" crap they spew, the Christians are pretty quick to kill anything that apposes them. this is pretty apparent through history, but this movie just illustrates that very well.

Alan Moore must have some man crush on Milton, because his character of Dr. Manhattan perfectly mimics Milton's God. They both are omnipotent can see all time at once, and know that their actions with have faulty consequences, but are both powerless to do anything about it. It's interesting that Milton gave God such faults, and he must have had balls of steel to do it in the 17th century.

Paradise Lost: The first installments

So I'm most of the way through the first book of the book by this point. it's hard to get through because the language is tough, but that's forgivable because of the time period and that style being all the rage. why i'm not forgiving Milton for however is, first the fact that he's trying so hard to be plato, and second the characters so far. I don't know why blind people think that they're instantly some channel of the gods, just because they have a birth defect. the same with Plato channeling the muse, Milton assuming he knows what happened before the universe existed, and that blind guy from "Oh Brother, Where art thou?" although i guess he represents Plato, but that's still more instances than necessary. and going along with that, why is everyone trying to be Plato and recreate the Odyssey? i mean the "Epic Poem" by Milton is even divided into books. try and be original and at least call it scriptures or something. and then the characters are the worst. first is Beelzebub, who spend the entire time kissing Satan's ass, which i guess fits his character, even if it's annoying. But Satan spends the entire time whining about how he was defeated by the omnipotent God. what the hell (ha pun) did he expect to happen? that God would just say "you know what guys? i'm not just gonna wish you out of existance or turn you all in to a piles of poop, i'll give you a fair fight." Satan is the whiny little girl, and it does make me dislike him, which was Milton's intention, but at the same time, it makes him seem very unbelievable, although all the self proclaimed "princes of darkness" always seem to have the same daddy issues. since i'm also supposed to relate this back to "modern media" in my life the closest i can come to at this point is princess celestia from "my little pony". basically her sister, luna, gets jealous/possessed by an evil spirit and made jealous, that celestia gets to rule the day, and she gets shafted with the night, revolts and banished to the moon where she mopes around for 1000 years. Moral of the story (like most bible stories): god- i mean celestia is a bitch that instead of actually doing anything to help her sister, just hides the problem, and luna makes some secret revenge plot that fails because SHE'S FIGHTING GOD.

Women

somethings never change....

MUFFINS!!!!

wut?

I'm beginning to feel like this entire play was written by deadpool. Crossed with Lewis Carol.